Death of a Perfectionist

Well, it happened.

This week we shifted gears a bit and school wasn’t just full of lectures; we had our first set of quizzes. I think some of us were hit with a big dose of reality, myself included.

I also had back-to-back sessions in the SP lab learning how to take vitals and performing a head-to-toe musculoskeletal adult exam. These were pretty cool. Maybe it just makes me a huge dork, but I get more excited about working on practical patient care than I thought I would. While it took time away from studying for the other quizzes this week, I felt that it was still a good use of time.

Friday was the most stressful day. I got to school early to grab a spot in the library and review/cram/study for the quiz.

Dr. T made me feel good right before the exam when she said, “Life is too short to worry about this little quiz.”

And so, I finished the quiz and finished out the week. I would have loved to have gotten a perfect score, but I knew it was not probable. And it didn’t happen. But, I still did well, so overall I’m okay with it. This morning, I finally built up the courage to look up my Histology lab quiz grade, and I passed!

I still have my Type A, perfectionist, gunner tendencies… wanting to study all day, wanting a perfect score… but I am learning that I may not be at the top of the class, and I may not know everything, but I am surviving. And I am okay with that.

After the quiz, I took some time to re-energize by sharing a date night with David. It was a lot of fun to feel like I was part of the outside world again. He asked what movie I wanted to see–I had no idea what movies were even playing! If he asks, “Did you hear about…?”, I usually haven’t. It’s strange. And we’re only 3 weeks in so far. I can only imagine what it’ll be like at the end of the year.

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