My first rotation of intern year was inpatient pulmonology. My very first day was on “short call”, meaning that I was on call til 9pm accepting admissions (and could stay til 11pm finishing up notes). Plus it was a weekend, which meant I was cross-covering two other services until handing off to the night team. I was terrified. I started out the morning by introducing myself to the nurses: “Hi, I’m Dr. Allie, and I’m a brand-new intern. I have no idea what I’m doing. Where are the stairs? Where can I find this room number? Where do I put my used isolation gowns?”
Pulmonology was really interesting. It took awhile, but I became more comfortable with taking care of common illnesses like asthma, bronchiolitis, and Cystic Fibrosis as a doctor, instead of a med student, or someone on the sidelines.
I wanted so badly to make a good first impression that I think what I actually did was more self-sabotage than anything else. Double-checking everything because I didn’t want to make a mistake made me slow. But, by asking questions I started to learn how to do things, got acquainted with our EMR system, and quickly fell into a routine.
Without a doubt, though, the best part so far has been getting to know my co-interns, senior residents, and the attendings here. I’ve made so many more friends and it feels like I have known them all much longer than the few months I’ve been here.
This was also my first month teaching med students as a resident. When you spend your days feeling like an idiot every single minute, it starts to feel like you have nothing to offer. As I started out in residency that first month, I felt like I was barely keeping afloat. After a couple of weeks, I was much more comfortable in my role, and began dedicating more time to guiding the med students. These were med students on their first-ever clinical rotation, and it didn’t take long to feel like, “actually, there IS something I can teach you!”
School may be out, but that doesn’t mean the learning (or re-learning) ends. I’m the type that learns through reading, and my med student habits have stuck with me, so I try to always carry something to read. Many of my days look like this:
There’s still time for fun. One thing I love about my program is their dedication to wellness. Once each block or so, my program sponsors Riley Rounds, fun outings for residents (and their families!). The first one was to an Indians baseball game, and the second was at a restaurant that also hosted games. One day in the lawn between hospitals they set up an inflatable obstacle course just for residents (plus Sno Cones)! We work hard but we definitely play harder!
So far, I am really enjoying residency, even when I feel like I’ve been an inadequate idiot all day. I’m slowly learning that it is ok to stick to my gut, speak with more confidence, and say NO. One of my interviewers last year said that “putting on the doctor pants” is a difficult thing to do, but if I chose a program that supported me in ways that I needed, it wouldn’t be as difficult as it could be. I’m only a few months in so far, but I am so glad I chose this program (and that they chose me)!
To see more frequent posts and snippets about my days as a pediatric intern, follow me on Instagram @pagingdrallie