Intern Year so Far

My first rotation of intern year was inpatient pulmonology. My very first day was on “short call”, meaning that I was on call til 9pm accepting admissions (and could stay til 11pm finishing up notes). Plus it was a weekend, which meant I was cross-covering two other services until handing off to the night team. I was terrified. I started out the morning by introducing myself to the nurses: “Hi, I’m Dr. Allie, and I’m a brand-new intern. I have no idea what I’m doing. Where are the stairs? Where can I find this room number? Where do I put my used isolation gowns?”

Pulmonology was really interesting. It took awhile, but I became more comfortable with taking care of common illnesses like asthma, bronchiolitis, and Cystic Fibrosis as a doctor, instead of a med student, or someone on the sidelines.

I wanted so badly to make a good first impression that I think what I actually did was more self-sabotage than anything else. Double-checking everything because I didn’t want to make a mistake made me slow. But, by asking questions I started to learn how to do things, got acquainted with our EMR system, and quickly fell into a routine.

Without a doubt, though, the best part so far has been getting to know my co-interns, senior residents, and the attendings here. I’ve made so many more friends and it feels like I have known them all much longer than the few months I’ve been here.

This was also my first month teaching med students as a resident. When you spend your days feeling like an idiot every single minute, it starts to feel like you have nothing to offer. As I started out in residency that first month, I felt like I was barely keeping afloat. After a couple of weeks, I was much more comfortable in my role, and began dedicating more time to guiding the med students. These were med students on their first-ever clinical rotation, and it didn’t take long to feel like, “actually, there IS something I can teach you!”

School may be out, but that doesn’t mean the learning (or re-learning) ends. I’m the type that learns through reading, and my med student habits have stuck with me, so I try to always carry something to read. Many of my days look like this:

There’s still time for fun. One thing I love about my program is their dedication to wellness. Once each block or so, my program sponsors Riley Rounds, fun outings for residents (and their families!). The first one was to an Indians baseball game, and the second was at a restaurant that also hosted games. One day in the lawn between hospitals they set up an inflatable obstacle course just for residents (plus Sno Cones)! We work hard but we definitely play harder!

So far, I am really enjoying residency, even when I feel like I’ve been an inadequate idiot all day. I’m slowly learning that it is ok to stick to my gut, speak with more confidence, and say NO. One of my interviewers last year said that “putting on the doctor pants” is a difficult thing to do, but if I chose a program that supported me in ways that I needed, it wouldn’t be as difficult as it could be. I’m only a few months in so far, but I am so glad I chose this program (and that they chose me)!

To see more frequent posts and snippets about my days as a pediatric intern, follow me on Instagram @pagingdrallie

Match Day

So I haven’t posted in awhile. No worries! Match Week was absolutely crazy, and since Match Day, I’ve celebrated with endless family and friends; looked for, found, and bought a house; started my last rotation of medical school; and have just in general been enjoying life.

I don’t keep it a secret that I had to apply to medical school four times. It’s just a part of my story. However, I truly believe that by going through that process, my self-confidence has been irreparably damaged. I constantly doubt myself. I doubted that I would ever get in; I doubted that I would pass all of my classes; I doubted that I would pass my Step exams; I worried and fretted frequently about my ability to obtain a residency position, or if I did, that it would be in a place that I did not necessarily want, but that I should just feel lucky to have obtained a spot.

I never imagined that I would go from a third-time re-applicant to being actively recruited for my first job as a doctor. Not a single one of those bad, scary things that I lost sleep over ever happened.

I also never imagined that putting together my rank list would have been so hard. I absolutely loved my top 4 programs and was hopeful that I would Match at one of those four; but what if I Matched at the place at the very end of my list? Getting the “Congratulations” email from the NRMP on Monday lifted the fear of not Matching, but waiting four more days to hear where was nerve-wracking. Zillow was confused about why I was looking at houses in four different states.

On Match Day, we arrived at the Mellwood Arts Center early to take part in the festivities. Local organizations were sponsoring giveaways, provided food and drink, etc. The nervous energy that filled the room was intoxicating. My husband and I grabbed a table with several of my friends and their spouses as we anxiously awaited getting our letters at noon.

The last hour felt like it stretched on for ever and ever.

When it was finally time to go up and get our letters, I was a shaking mess. I held the thin white envelope in my hands and I was terrified. Would I Match at my #1? #2? #14?

When we got the go-head at noon, I ripped open the letter, took a deep breath, and looked for my program name.

“IND—

I dropped the letter, clasped my hands to my face and cried. David picked up the letter, read it, and cried too. Screams of triumph filled the room. Smiles were plentiful. Everyone at my table Matched at their #1 program!

 

We are moving back to Indianapolis! We could not be happier.